How do you measure personal growth?

I believe what personal growth I have managed has come as a result of having the good fortune to spend a significant portion of my life with horses. Horse have no hidden agenda. They are incapable of such human traits. "What you see is what you get" is never more authentic than with a horse. The problem is many people cannot see, therefore they get confused about what the get from a horse.

What you describe is a state of mind of not bringing your idea of the horse you are about to mount to the horse. That is a milestone of personal growth in riding.

I like to tell stories, so please indulge this one about an adult woman student who was a news reporter for a major newspaper. She came to me as an "accomplished rider". It turned out she was a passenger who "steered" a horse with the reins and did little else. She rode a horse named Piero, who was as good a beginner horse as you will find. From the first lesson on, this student continually informed me of Piero's malicious intentions. He was trying to do this... and trying to do that to her. At first I ignored these very obvious fantasies.

Eventually, I was able to get this student out of the arena and out over terrain. By then the accusations against Piero had subsided somewhat, but as we rode out into open land they reappeared with great gusto. I heard, "Did you see that? He tried to...". Once again calmly and directly I explained that horses were incapable of such complex evil plots against riders. No, she said. Piero was trying to ...

Months passed and this rider's paranoia never truly let up. Finally one day after a trying ride, during which I observed Piero nearly falling asleep several times, I asked the rider what she did for a living, which I already knew. She proudly answered that she was a reporter for a substantial newspaper and had a significant beat that she covered for the paper. It was an important aspect of news she was reporting on. And then I explained to her that if I came across a newspaper article with her byline on it, I could not believe a word of what the article contained. She was shocked, insulted and asked why on earth I would think that. I explained that I have been involved wit horses for over 50 years and based on her reports about Piero, she had demonstrated to me that she had zero objectivity regarding what she was experiencing in any given situation about Piero and reporting to me. I explained that all I heard from her about her horse was made up nonsense. I never saw here again after that day.

I tell this story because your story of getting on the other horse after coming off a horse is the opposite of this "reporter". We must always ride the horse we are on, not the idea of that horse we might conger up. This is especially true in horse training because presumably, as the horse receives training he is a new horse the next time we ride him.

If you get this far in your growth as a rider, you have come a great distance. Which is not to say we can always be this objective and present. Years ago when I was trying to retrain a horse named Magnum, I often failed to mount him with an open mind. I had never come off a horse as often as Magnum. He was expert at unseating a rider. From polo I have repeated right leg hamstring pulls and tears. So when I rode him I always tried to have him turning right so as to have my stronger leg, my left, on the outside, so that when he spun (his favorite way to unseat a rider) he swung me into my strong leg in the stirrup. I could get on him, ride him to loosen him up and then begin some disciplined focused training, which we refused every time. I was ready. He'd spin me to the right as I had planned for, and I was there ready, but then he did the most athletic stop and spun opposite to the left, putting me into my weak right leg and I'd come off. Over and over this happened no matter what small drill I would ask him to do.

It made me paranoid. I began to sound like the crazy reporter. Over and over, I mounted him with Zenlike discipline and as open a mind as I could. I'd hit the ground and say, that SOB. Point is, it can be difficult not to ride the idea of a horse you bring to a ride.  Congratulations for being open to your horse in the moment.

One last note, it is far better not to use the phrase, " got bucked off". It puts too much responsibility on the horse. I have found that saying, "I came off the horse" leads more easily to an open mind and 99% of the time it is more factually accurate.