methodology-relaxation for coming into unity with your horse

The first step is to approach the horse in a manner that is unthreatening. We all could expand on what unthreatening means. Elements of this I am careful to observe are to not walk up to a horse eye to eye, and to stop moving toward a horse that reacts to my approach by assuming a defensive posture. I usually approach a horse from the side on a line toward the wither. Once by the horse's side I slowly reach out my hand and touch the shoulder in as gentle a way as I can, expecting a "skin shake" like they make when a fly lands on a spot of their skin. I remove my hand at the shake and pause, and touch again until the horse accepts my touch. Then I will stroke the horse with my hand along the back, hind, neck, legs and head more or less in that order. During this meeting I will observe the horse's breathing, tightness of their skin and posture.

When I feel the horse has accepted me into their space I will try to move the horse. I usually place my hand on the horses nose below the eyes and gently slide it down to the nose where I will gently squeeze the nose and push the horse backward. This is a test of trust and responsiveness. Many horses will flip my hand off their nose in response to this cue. If they do I begin again touching them and being calm and unthreatening. This process can take many directions from here, but let's say the horse backs up a step as I direct them backward.

At this point I will groom the horse and saddle up as we get to know one another. I will lead the horse to a mounting block where I can stand above the horse. Observing the reaction to my body being above him/her is useful. If the horse moves away from the mounting block, I will circle the horse around the block as many times as it takes to have the horse stand still (often they will eventually stand at the mounting block out of boredom from so many circles. I will place my foot in the stirrup, one hand on the wither the other on the cantel and stand in the stirrup for a moment. If the horse feels calm and safe, I throw my leg over and sit.

In the sitting we join the horse. Not enough focus is placed on how we initially sit in mounting. The moment of sitting is critical. Ask any horse trainer who has worked with a lot of buckers. How you first sit sets a tone. In that first sitting I relax my body and breath. I feel my heart beat. If it is fast, and be sure the horse feels it too, I will sit motionless until it slows.

We must be as conscious of ourselves as we are of the horse because the horse is far more sensitive to our physical being than we are. If we are fearful, he/she will read it immediately. If we are tense that will be clear to the horse. We must be patient with ourselves and wait until we move into a calm state that the horse can accept or hopeful enjoy. Many riders are unaware that their mere presence creates problems in their relationship with a horse. Unity begins with us.

Once the horse ands I get to a shared relaxed place in mounting I like to move off from the mounting block to a more open area. This might be within a round pen or arena, but not always. When we get to a open area, I like to initiate a "game" (Jimmy will tease me about Parelli here) of "I move you, you move me". This is a very simple responsive series of physical movements. It can begin with me touching the horse with my legs and then stopping to see what movement a single leg touch will create in the horse. That can range from nothing to a gallop. Whatever the movement response, I remain open to it to see how long it lasts for up to a minute (less if it is extreme like a series of bucks or a gallop). During this movement, I will let the horse move my body in sync with his/her movement by being soft and centered. Typically, the horse will end it. Then the fun part starts. I just sit still softly and centered. In time the horse will move, if just to rebalance in their standing position. In that movement, I let the horse move me. I horse might see a blade of green grass and walk to it. I don't care. I want the horse to initiate movement that I can allow and be moved by.

The process continues back and forth where I move the horse, followed by the horse moves me. Eventually it becomes clear that the process I am allowing and fostering is mutual movement. This process is one of "explaining" to the horse that mutual movement is what I am after. It is the baseline of our relationship. Once established as the baseline, which is unity, we move onto more and more complicated and shared mutual movements.

I discovered this process when training polo horses. I found that in that game, which is a lot like hockey, when you get "bumped" (body checked) by another horse and rider, you must be in a state of unity, or mutual acceptance of the hit. In time, a horse and ride can actually "use" the hit from another horse and rider to move them to the ball. In other words, if the ball is on our left and the opponent on our right I will position us in preparation for the opponent "bump" to the right at a distance where the bump will move us to the ball. This is incorporating an outside force into our unity. (Argie pros will see you doing this and not bump you, while most Americans will accommodate and deliver the hit)

Horses love unity. We must offer it to them from the first touch. It can lead to exciting and intense shared joy on wonderful levels. It is primarily physical but with development it becomes somewhat intellectual and emotional to the extent an din the way horses experience these things.


note: I have resisted books and videos because people like Parelli have abused them to a point of uselessness, I think. But maybe this might make a good short video.